It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
One of the biggest challenges facing anyone who is dating is coping with disappointment. Look at the odds. No matter how few or many people you’ve gone out with, 100 percent of those haven’t been the right match. Every person on the planet who’s single feels the same way as you do. But through all the dark thoughts and second guessing, we all come back to date again. That’s because we realize one important thing: there is a tiny flame burning in the distance and if we can ever reach it, we know that it will keep us warm and light our way forever. That flame is love and it’s worth all the sacrifice.
It is important to remember the pleasure and pain principal. It basically states that if something gives you more pleasure than pain, you’ll continue to do it. When it causes you more pain than pleasure, you stop. If you fell off every time you road a bike, would you keep doing it? If you hit your thumb with a hammer every time you tried to build something, think you’d choose a career in woodworking? If every time you jumped out of an airplane your shoot failed to open, would . . . well, never mind about that. Riding a bike is an exhilarating experience but probably isn’t worth a skin graft every time you tumble. Creating beautiful furniture can be very rewarding, but if you kept crushing your hand each time you tried to craft a piece you would consider another career. Thankfully, love is one of the most wonderful emotions you’re ever going to feel. It’s what keeps brining you back into the game and it’s worth it every time—so just keep focused on the pleasure!
Dating is supposed to be a fun, exciting experience and you need to ready yourself for all that it involves. The bad news is that meeting people has the same highs and lows as most other events in life. You’re going to meet people whose personalities clash violently with yours. You’re going to meet people who lie or are less forthcoming than you would expect. There will be people from all walks of life, all different backgrounds and all of which will have different interests, thoughts and desires. If you’re lucky, you’ll form bonds with some of them and perhaps make a friend for life. All the negative aspects are a part of it, too, so you need to be prepared for them.
Promise yourself you won’t get down. Dating has a lot in common with acting. Actors are no stranger to rejection. They often go months or years between jobs yet all the while attending a number of auditions each week. It’s easier said than done, but you’ve got to keep a positive outlook. Take a piece of paper and write yourself a promise and sign it. Stick it in a drawer where you’ll see it every so often. That’s a promise to keep searching for what you deserve, so it could very well be the most important contract of your life.
Success will come—you just have to believe. Look how many people are on dating sites these days. There are millions! Gone are the times when your circle of friends and the size of your town dictated your options. With so many people online and waiting to meet their perfect match, keep the faith and you’ll find someone who fits.
I think Tennyson’s words are what we all need to live by. Dating is always a mix of pleasure and pain, but if we keep focused on the great experiences, we will worry less about any momentary rough spots. Make a deal with yourself that you intend to find the perfect connection that fits your needs and Mr. or Ms. Right will already be steps closer to your door. And keep Tennyson’s idea in mind the next time you have a dead-end date. Love is the light and it burns brightly for us all!

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